Impending Motion Pictures in Pre-Production: Chuck Palahniuk

(Good ol' Chuck embracing a baby goat)

     If you're familiar with fictional literature you already know that Chuck Palahniuk is not a filmmaker. He is however, inarguably one of the most incredible story-tellers of all time. In fact, he's guilty of making people pass out and have ambulances called to book stores after reading chapters of his books to small audiences. We're all familiar with "Fight Club," right?  Yeah, this guy wrote that to further repulse his publishers after they rejected his novel "Invisible Monsters" for "disturbing content."
     He's responsible for writing some of my favorite novels of all time (i.e., Haunted and Snuff) and as a future-wanna-be-screenwriter, I often daydream of the privilege of turning one of his works into a screenplay. So naturally, whenever I hear of a much more successful human who has the funds and connections to turn that daydream into a reality... I get kinda nosey. Turns out, "dibs" have been called on more of his books than I anticipated.
     It's okay, it's okay. Not a soul has purchased the rights to (one of) my favorite novel(s) in the whole-wide-world Haunted. A gal can still dream. Snuff on the other hand, is a completely different story. No dreams left there. I remember devouring this book in one sitting and then thinking, "This is wonderfully simple yet so gloriously complex! I am going to make this into a movie if it's the last thing I do!" Soon after shooting for the stars, I realized that Palahniuk's last book-to-film-adaptation was "Fight Club" starring Edward Norton and Brad Pitt... how was an undergraduate supposed to follow that? The answer is... she doesn't. Fabien Martorell does. Rats. Well, I do hope he provides the character Cassie Wright and her record breaking sex-tape with cinematic justice. I'm sure it'll be swell seeing as Palahniuk himself sold the rights to him. Though it's unclear as to when we'll all be able to know for sure seeing as no release information has been distributed to the public yet.
     What has been distributed to us merely yesterday was that the rights to one of Chuck's most notable works Rant was sold and handed over to the one and only James Franco. According to Litreactor, Palahniuk stated that, "Details about the casting, shooting and a proposed release date will be forthcoming. Hurray. After the opportunity to work with Brad Pitt, Edward Norton and Sam Rockwell, I can’t imagine a more exciting actor to work with than Franco." 
       While the author himself seems to be stoked, audience members are approaching Franco's new purchase with trepidation. Assumedly so, seeing as Franco and his production company "RabitBandini Productions" have to follow Fox and Regency's Oscar nominated Palahniuk adaptation. "Fight Club" is considered one of the most important films of the millenium, it's obvious Franco has very large shoes to fill. I feel it essential to note that this news just surfaced. Perhaps such critical judgements shouldn't be so hastily made. I myself am guilty of chortling in rapturous glee at Francos flicks and I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't shuddering at the thought of this man dipping his hands in two of my favorite authors works. ("Bukowski" is expected to be released sometime this year.) It's tough to detach his famous silly persona from his previous acting roles and then instill trust in him with such a serious and well known piece of work, trust me, I get that. To prevent more stress from entering our bodies, I recommend we follow the age-old cliche "don't knock it til' ya try it" and give Franco's more serious projects a taste before spitting them out.