When Reality Becomes Surreal

I'm very picky when it comes to watching television. A show has to be well written, funny, with actors who play the part. That being said, I have a secret shame:

I love Real Housewives of New Jersey. I think it's one of the greatest shows on television, possibly all time. It's horribly photographed trash TV at it's finest. The show takes five women who lead lives of luxury in the dirty Jers and follow the petty crap they argue about on a daily basis. I can't even begin to describe the suffering and emotional trauma these upper middle class citizens endure every episodes. Stolen recipes, book deals, recording careers. It's hard not to empathize with them.

I began watching Housewives when the show began following the lives of women from Orange County back in March 2006. Since then, there's been five spinoffs, three international versions, and a new executive producer, Andy Cohen.

When the show first premiered, the premise was simple: follow the everyday lives of five women who live lives of luxury. In the first season of the show, there wasn't a single fight, screaming match, or petty argument. Everyone got along and stood by each other. They actually had real people problems, such as bankruptcy, divorce, and relationships.

Six years later, the show has become a poster-child for a new genre recently coined "Docusoap." The only one I continue to watch, just because it's so ridiculous, are the women from New Jersey. The producers continue to do everything they can to pump drama into the show. Since the first season, the entire cast has just been in a cross-media war, each battle consisting of something stupid being blown completely out of proportion. It's like high school with money.

Just recently, I watched the reunion. These supposedly upstanding members of society, each worth millions of dollars, personally dug in and attacked each other for the entirety of three hours. It was something to behold. They argued about who's mom created a recipe, someone faking an Autistic child, people wearing the same dress to an event, liposuction, nose jobs, lip synching, the list goes on and on. This wouldn't seem so bad, but each reunion shoot takes fourteen hours to complete. What was previously a reflection on the season by the cast has become a therapy session.

It's no secret that these women don't like each other. They apparently hadn't spoken to each other for a year before the reunion show. At the same time, how can people who have everything let something so stupid tear apart previously strong bonds?

People don't watch reality TV to see how other people live normal lives. They don't want to see people sleeping, using the bathroom, cleaning, or eating. People want to see fighting, arguing, hair pulling, drama. The producers have to do something to stir drama. While that may be the case for most shows, there's something pure about Housewives.

These women are truly pure evil. They will do anything to make each other's lives horrible. They constantly attempt to start something through twitter, magazines, celeb websites, blogs. The fights make for great reality TV. One problem: real people don't go that far out of their way to mess up someone's life. Even if they wanted to, most are too busy. The housewives primary paycheck comes from the producers at Bravo to make good TV by any means possible. Everyone involved in the show is choosing money over friendship, family, and public impression.

If the average person was asked to do this and no TV show was involved, they would likely decline. But the women of Real Housewives are incredibly heartless bitches. Therefore, I propose that the "reality tv" moniker be replaced by the much more appropriate "surreal TV."