Cigarettes and Coffee

Earlier this week, I had the displeasure of viewing the film "Cigarettes and Coffee" for the first time. I generally enjoy Paul Thomas Anderson's films, so I figured "what the heck." Boy was I wrong.

Let me start with the quality of the version I watched. Someone managed to upload the film to Youtube from VHS. I honestly have no idea who would spend money to buy that VHS, you couldn't give me one for free. The quality was something equivalent to video games in the 70s, where you could see every individual pixel in each character. It took me about half the film to realize the lead actor was in fact Philip Baker Hall.

The entire movie was very poorly lit. There wasn't really a reason for the lighting, it looked like some guy just hastily threw up lights in a basic pattern just to say he did it. It was really a shame, because the sky light at dawn was actually really pretty.

The two future professional actors in the film did very well. Even back then, you could tell that they would both end up in movies. Everyone else was god awful. Most of them sounded completely unprepared. The actor with the most lines can be described as a mentally disabled Sylvester Stallone. The lines didn't flow well, and everything was forced. It was acting for the theater, not the movies. You have to wonder how well they were actually directed.

One of the actors appeared in the Disney Channel classic "Blank Check" several years later. He's known for completely exaggerating his lines, which is perfect in a children's film. In something as serious (or at least intended to be) as "Cigarettes and Coffee", the effect was almost comical. No matter how many times I watch this film, I will always revert back to his performance in "Blank Check."

I wonder how many shrooms Anderson ate before he wrote the script for this film. Not a single damn thing in the film made any sense. The overall plot is how five people are brought together by a restaurant, a 20 dollar bill, Las Vegas, and a plan to kill someone. Only three of them are. The film is a mess when it comes to continuity. The actual dialogue itself sucks: it's completely unrealistic, there is way too much unnecessary profanity, and the overall premise of the situation is never explained.

The movie ends in a cliff hanger. Movies aren't TV shows: they're supposed to have a definitive ending. Anderson should've stayed in NYU a little longer.

Overall, I want my 23 minutes and 40 seconds in my life. Maybe a little longer, since I watched the film a few more times to make sense of it. If you don't want to lose all respect for Paul Thomas Anderson, steer clear of this film.