Will The Advancement of Technology Make Old Children's Movies Full of Swears?

Technology is moving at a crazy pace. According to Moore's Law it moves at an exponential rate.

I'm not sure what the left axis of this picture is so I don't know what it means but I think it shows how much technology is accelerating.

One thing that might happen when the technology gets really crazy is that they'll figure out what birds are saying when they chirp and one issue is that they might find out that birds were swearing all the time.

This could become a MAJOR issue with PG children's movies that had birds chirping in the background. Imagine being a kid in the future, wearing a bird chirp converter headset and watching a movie from the past with birds chirping in the background which we thought were harmless chirps but they turned out to be swears like the F word or the C word or even the N word.

For this reason, we should be careful about making sure the birds we film in movies aren't rude or angry.

Bird Movies in the IMDB Top 250

For this weeks blogpost I will scroll through the IMDB Top 250 best movies of all time and take note of any movies that deal with birds. Here we go!

16 - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

83 - To Kill a Mockingbird

108 - Batman Begins (Bats are kind of birds. I'll allow it)

175 - The Maltese Falcon

Well, that's it! Very short list. Three-and-a-half movies in the top 250 movies of all time are about birds. Since I was expecting this list to be longer, I will do a two-for-the-price-of-one list.

As a case study I will also look at the the IMDB Top 250 list for the opposite of birds.... fish. Hopefully this will show us if Hollywood has racism towards birds. Here we go!

125 - On the Waterfront (I've never seen it but it probably involves fish)

133 - The Bridge on the River Kwai (I've never seen it either but again, probably about fish)

138 - The Seventh Seal (Seals are kind of fish)

163 - Finding Nemo

SIDE NOTE - I probably would have thought Shutter Island (185) was about fish if I hadn't seen it.

221 - Jaws

Well, there you have it. Scientific evidence that Hollywood is racist against birds, there are one-and-a-half more great movies about the opposite of birds than there are great movies about birds.

A World Without Songbirds

"Prepare to be transfixed by the opening shot in The Messenger, a new documentary about songbird declines. A Black-throated Blue Warbler, closer than you’ve ever seen one, flies in slow motion against a black background. Slo-mo can make anything look graceful (even creatures as clumsy as Hollywood actors) so just imagine what it does for a warbler in full breeding glory. It’s the most beautiful footage of a bird in flight I’ve ever seen."

The Messenger is a visually thrilling ode to the beauty and importance of the imperiled songbird, and what it means to all of us on both a global and human level if we lose them. I am not familiar with the documentary so I am unaware of what the consequences of losing songbirds are, but I did some research, and the documentary has done surprisingly well for a bird documentary. It got an 8.4 out of 10 on IMDB and a 100% out of 100% on Rotten Tomatoes and is being screened all across the United States as well as Canada.

If that doesn't make you want to see the documentary, then maybe this will! Ithaca's very own, Andrew Farnsworth, makes multiple appearances throughout the doc!

Andrew Farnsworth

Definitely a documentary to check out if you have the time. Great flick for the family as well as for education!

The Simpsons: A Case Study on Birds in TV

For this weeks blog post I will be watching a 22 minute episode of the Simpsons as a case study to see what the RTBPM (references to birds per minute) of an average American television show is.

The episode I chose is season 27 episode 12, "Much Apu About Something"

Notes:
- 00:05 - They show a clip of Mary Poppins flying through the sky in the opening credits when they could have shown a bird.
- 01:09 - They had a small montage of outdoors stuff and there weren't any birds in the sky in any of the scenes. Seems unrealistic.
- 01:40 - BIRD REFERENCE #1 - There is a container of Turkey Jerkey on Apu's counter in Kwik-E-Mart
- 07:22 - BIRD REFERENCE #2 - In the background of the quick&fresh supermarket there are "FREE RANGE CHICK PEAS", an classic twist on free range chicken. 
- 09:53 - They point to a beehive in a tree but there are no birds nests in the tree. Seems unrealistic.
- 11:58 - BIRD REFERENCE #3 - There is what looks to be chicken parm on the table at an Italian restaurant Homer and Apu are at. I'm bothered that the first 3 references to birds are about them being food.
- 13:10 - BIRD REFERENCE #4 - Apu says "chicken vindaloo" to his nephew. Seriously? Another reference to birds as food? This isn't okay at all.
- 17:38 - BIRD REFERENCE #5 - A shot of eggs going bad in quick&fresh. Another food reference. 

There were 5 bird references in 22 minutes. That makes the RTBPM exactly 0.22727.

It is extremely troubling that every reference was to them being portrayed as food. I am consider filing a lawsuit against American TV.

PEOPLE NEED TO TAKE THIS MATTER SERIOUSLY

Look at this bird:

Looks like a normal bird, right? I mean ya its pretty cute in what not but what is so special about it? What you are looking at is the New Zealand Dotterel, and endangered species of bird only found in certain parts of New Zealand. 

The reason I bring this bird up is because recently I was watching Taylor Swift's music video "Out of the Woods" (if you haven't seen it, check it out)  http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/music/75580001/Taylor-Swifts-new-music-video-Out-Of-The-Woods-showcases-New-Zealand

and I realized that the location where most of the filming takes place is very similar to that of where the Dotterel roost. I became a little concerned that maybe Taylor Swift and her film crew perhaps intruded on this species' home so I decided to do a little research, and it turns out I was exactly right.

http://www.nme.com/news/taylor-swift/89978

The above link is an article that I stumbled upon while doing some research that claims that Taylor Swift's film crew disrupted the Dotterel's natural habitat and harmed some of the birds. The crew supposedly drove over a dozen vehicles onto the beaches where they roost and potentially murdered some of the birds. Now I personally am a firm believer that a filmmaker must do whatever it takes to get the perfect shot. But when it comes to endangered birds, thats where I draw the line. No birds life is worth a flawless dolly, especially that of a Dotterels. 

I do enjoy Taylor Swift and I think the music video is a beautiful homage to New Zealand's natural landscapes, but there are certain things that I just can't turn a blind eye to.

Please share this.

Why Drones Will Never Be As Good As Birds

The invention of drones opened up a million possibilities for the world of film. Actually, maybe even more than a million. With drones, you can get shots from angles that weren't possible before. You can follow things that weren't possible to follow before. You can even use drones to attract people to you by impressing them and you can actually make friendships with those people which might lead to connections in the industry.

There is however one thing that drones fail to do, and that is match the skill of a bird. Drones are limited by the motors and batteries that power them whereas birds can fly free with literally no limitations.

Watch this video that a bird took with a GoPro camera:

You might notice two things. 

First of all, you might have noticed that this bird has the ability to grab and drop the camera. This opens up the doors for amazing shots such as one where the camera is going and then it drops and is caught and keeps going. You can use your imagination to picture more shots like this. 

Secondly, you might have noticed how fast this bird flies with the camera. Accounting for the adrenaline that the bird had from the rush of thievery and running away from a predator, which may have affected its speed by up to 15%, it still flew faster than a drone ever could.

For these reasons, drones will always be a little worse than birds.

Batman. The "Bird" Gotham Actually Needs

SPOILER ALERT
Superman dies
2:15  of crap
:15 of fight
Aquaman Cameo

That's the movie in a nutshell. I was so excited to see the movie and it was a big ol' waste of time. I think there are multiple reasons for this movie not being good. For one, I think the movie tried to cover more material than it could handle. Way too much information was shoved into the 2:30 movie, making it hard to separate the important information from "crap."
Another reason that I didn't enjoy the movie was because of how much of a build up there was for a very anticlimactic final battle. I am not lying when I say there was 2:15 of nothing but talking until the final fight. The only fight that you do see prior to that happens to be a dream that batman is having so its like it didn't even happen. And then batman and superman fight for like 5 minutes, wonder woman comes in and fights for 5 minutes, and then they all fight together for 5 minutes. Thats it.
But honestly, I think the main reason this movie was a flop is because, believe it or not, bats are not actually birds, they're mammals. This tactic of using a bird in the title of the film has been well investigated in a previous blog done by a student here at IC, and the results showed a shocking amount of evidence that by putting a bird's name in the title, the chances of if winning best picture increase by almost 45%. I think that the director of Batman V Superman was well aware of this too but missed the mark just by a hair and didn't do enough research to realize that bats actually aren't birds.

The Hardest Parts About Filming Birds

As you may have read from earlier posts by Joe and I in this blog, using birds in your movie can be extremely beneficial. This may seem all well and good, but big problems may arise once you have committed to a movie about birds and realize the many problems with filming them. Although there are many complications when it comes to capturing birds on film, I will detail the three biggest problems that I have personally had while filming birds in my film.

1. They fly away

Birds have wings that allow them to fly, and that makes them some of the most elusive creatures on the planet. Being able to easily escape from situations is evolutionarily advantageous, but it is not a good trait when it comes to filming.

2. They are high up

My whole life, I've been used to filming people who live on the ground and I've taken it for granted. It wasn't until I had to film birds that lived really high up in trees that I appreciated how easy it is to film human counterparts. In order to film a bird successfully you either have to tilt your camera up really high or get really high up in a tree to film horizontally like you're used to.

3. They don't speak English

Unlike dogs who listen to you and know what you're saying, birds just fly away when you try to tell them what to do. This one kind of ties back into #1 because usually when you try to talk to a bird to calm them down they fly away. Not only do they not speak English, they don't speak any language except for bird calls.

The Most Photogenic Angles for Birds

Since the beginning of the internet, ugly people have been asking how they can make themselves look more attractive in pictures:

Because of this, there has been lots of research done on what a person can do to make themselves look most attractive in front of the camera.

Many factors can change how attractive you will look in a picture. The main factor is how ugly you actually are, but there are also many other factors such as the focal length of the camera:

Generally, the longer the focal length, the more attractive you will look because the distance required to use that focal length will flatten your face. This is why you look attractive in the mirror but gross in iPhone selfies - your eye's focal length is longer than the iPhone camera's focal length.

Another factor that contributes to a person's attractiveness on camera is the angle at which you position your face in relation to the camera:

Experts suggest that tilting your head slightly downwards and sticking your head forward will make you look slightly better. This is why you see people holding their iPhones up above their head to take selfies - that's their best angle.

Although lots of research has been done on the photogenics of people, none has been done on birds. So what is the best angle for birds?

The answer is: it depends.

Birds look best when their defining feature is highlighted. For example, a flamingos best angle is one in which its neck looks really long:

Attractive flamingo

A bald eagle's best angle is one in which it looks most American, by looking to one side with its body facing forward. It also helps to have an American flag behind it:

Attractive bald eagle

A peacocks best angle is the one in which its long, beautiful, colorful feathers are dragging on the ground the most:

Attractive peacock

As you can see, there is no golden rule when it comes to photogeniticity of birds. If you are going to follow one rule for photographing a bird it should be this: find your birds most defining trait and exploit it using your camera and directing skills.

Real Birds vs. CGI Birds

The Hollywood debate over whether to use real birds or CGI birds is a heated one.

Some people say they can tell the difference between real and CGI birds and some say they can't. Can you tell which of these pictures of birds is real and which is CGI?

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Which one is real? Exhibit A, or Exhibit B?

I asked my two roommates to see what they thought. One of my roommates guessed that the second picture was the real one and my other roommate said that he thought it was a trick question and that both pictures were real.

You might be as surprised as my roommates to find out that it was in fact a trick question, but the trick was that they were both CGI!

CGI birds are very convincing in Hollywood these days, but filmmakers have a history of staying away from CGI, especially CGI birds. One of the most famous examples of movies that used non-CGI birds was Hitchcock's The Birds (1963)

Hitchcock didn't know what he was getting into when he wrote the script for this movie, but with the help of his animal-trainer/friend Ray Berwick, he was able to pull it off. Hitchcock had planned to use machines in place of birds for shots but quickly realized that if he wanted his movie to look realistic he would need to use real birds.

One tactic he used to train his cast was to put them in giant cages the week leading up to filming and literally throw birds at them to get them used to it, meanwhile training the birds to do certain moves to get ready for filming.

Nowadays, we have the ability to use real birds but often use CGI because it looks so good and it's so hard to train a bird. Animated movies have still decided to abstain from using real life, practical birds in their movies. It makes sense from an aesthetic point of view but I can't help but imagine how much money they could save by using real birds at least some of the time.

How Birds are the Embodiment of Film

Watch this bird:

This is film in a nutshell. And I will explain why.

If you were to describe a bird in three adjectives, which would you use? Precise? Elegant? Free? Birds are beings of freedom and grace. The miracle of flight is something spectacular to observe. The first time in your life that you truly analyze flight, you are in awe. The miracle of flight mirrors the miracle of film.

Film is in every sense of the word, a miracle. To capture the motion, the emotion, and the reality of life on film is incredible. The first time you look at film in an analytical way, you realize how truly unbelievable it is.

Like a bird in flight, the filmmaker explores new avenues, using creativity to venture through space and time to achieve his/her goal.

In the video, at 11 seconds, another bird flies in front of the main bird. Every bird is influenced other birds. You can observe this in "bird V's". Each bird follows the birds before themselves, but take slightly different paths.

Just like these birds, filmmakers are influenced by the filmmakers before them. They draw influence and create their own paths based on the filmmakers of old.

An observer of birds is an observer of film, and I strive to be both.

Birds: An Under Utilized Scare Tactic In Film

"A parrot walks into a bar and asks for a scotch on the rocks, after knocking back the drink, he ask for the same again. This is also downed in one gulp, and he points his wing at the empty glass. This time the barman ask for some payment, to which the parrot replies - put it on my bill"

If you didn't find that funny, then you probably don't enjoy birds. 

Congratulations, you fall into the 85% of American's who don't enjoy birds as well. To most, birds are a nuisance, inferior vertebrate that poop all over everything and ruin crops. The worst part about birds is that they are in a way, "above" us, soaring over us in places that we can't reach without the aid planes, or jetpacks, or even ladders. This fear of inadequacy hunts us to our core, and it is this exact fear that has produced some of the scariest movies in Hollywood.

The Birds (1963)

Alfred Hitchcock 

A perfect example of the aeronautical capabilities of birds combined with a human's natural fear of birds. Alfred Hitchcock was able to capitalize on this fear in his film The Birds. A film about a wealthy San Francisco socialite who goes to pursue a potential boyfriend to a small town in Northern California when things take a bizarre turn after birds of all kinds suddenly begin to attack people.

Pterodactyl (2005)

Mark L. Lester

Another prime example of being spooked by birds. Mark L. Lester takes things to a whole new level when he introduces the Pterodactyl, the scariest kind of bird, to the silver screen. Nothing is scarier than a bird that eats meat, especially a BIG bird. Lester sends shivers up his audiences' spine with this horror about a dormant volcano deep in the Turkish forest that holds within it a deadly secret, that being a perfectly preserved nest of pterodactyl eggs ready to hatch

Both movies pushed the boundaries of horror and what it means to truly be scared. To this day, I am still waiting for the next Pterodactyl, a chance for me to really be taken out of my element, a chance to be chilled to the bone.

Birdwatching in Film

Birdwatchers, or as they call themselves, "birders", have never been properly depicted in film. To common folk, past movies about birdwatchers have been accurate enough, but to hardcore "birders", Hollywood is laughing stock because when it comes to accurate portrayal of birds in their movies, they miss the mark every time, apparently.

Nicholas Lund of Slate Magazine points out that after many big Hollywood blockbusters about specific subjects (such as Karate Kid with karate, or Top Gun with airplane flying) there is often a national excitement about the subject but that has yet to occur with "birding".

Two movies came out in 2014 about "birding":

A Birder's Guide to Everything (2014)

The Birder (2014)

But by far the biggest movie about "birders" was the 2011 blockbuster starring Jack Black, Steve Martin, and Owen Wilson, The Big Year (2011):

The Big Year (2011)

The issue is that none of these movies have brought "birding" to the attention of the masses and none of them have done an adequate job of presenting "birding" in an accurate fashion. 

The burden is on the young ambitious filmmakers of the world to make a captivating and accurate movie about "birding" that will make it the next worldwide craze.